Most people can't get to the next phase of their lives because there has been no recovery from the numerous falls we have taken. We continuously fall because we failed to find out who we really are. I am finding the older I get it becomes harder to not really see myself for who I really am. This has been a wonderful blessing because I could no longer run from the reality of who exactly was at fault for everyone of my short comings and failures of the years.
Yep, there were plenty of times I wanted to point the finger and blame someone else for every wrong I had encountered over the years. Oh Yeah, I had plenty of reasons why my life had taken so many bad turns. My dad died when I was one. My mother was abusive. My teachers were prejudice. My sister picked on me. No one understands me. I just want to be loved. And the list goes on and on and on. I could have went on forever blaming everyone and every thing except the real culprit....me.
It was me who made every decision that dug me into holes only God Himself had the ability to get me out of. Yes it was me. The one person who should of had my best interest at heart was using every opportunity to destroy a life. It was me. I allowed my flesh to lead me and my heart to over rule my mind. And each and every time I ended up messed up and taking a lost. I finally realized I didn't know myself to well. I know that sounds crazy but really. If I knew half about myself that I thought I knew, I would have known that I would get myself in trouble every time. I mean, look at my track record. My history of finding trouble was enough for me to say, "Wait a minute! She is going to mess this day up if she is given the chance."
At the point of admitting that I did not have the wisdom to successfully carry myself into a future planned and destined for greatness marked a new beginning in the saga of Tina. It became the time I started relying on God. He alone begin to teach me how to govern my behavior, pick my inner circle and what to invest my time and energy in. When we relinquish the reins it gives the Holy Spirit permission to lead us into a journey of discovery. I have found over the last year that the journey led me to discover the real me. You wants to know the real you. Why don't you make the introduction?
